When Do I Give Up on My Drug Addict Son (Signs and Tips)

Last Updated: October 20th, 2023By Categories: Drug Addiction

“My son has been addicted to drugs for quite some time now. Perhaps, that’s why he’s been treating me and other family members rudely. He even gets into trouble with other people. And the most heart-breaking part– he doesn’t listen to me anymore. He even yells at me whenever I try to guide him. I can’t help but ask: when do I give up on my drug addict son?” – Mother, 57 years old

As a parent, it’s expected of you to be perpetually supportive of your children no matter what they do, even if they do drugs and don’t listen to you. But everything has a limit, even your role as a parent. As much as we want to romanticize parenthood, you’re just another human, and you can’t be your son’s hero all the time.

If you’re in the same situation and you’ve already done your best to help your son get out of drug addiction, you may also be thinking of giving up. But wait for a second. Read this article first. Below, we will discuss with you the things you can still do before considering giving up and we will also tell you the red flags, which can help you decide whether letting your son go is the best course of action.

When Do I Give Up on My Drug Addict Son Poster

Part 1: What Are the Things to Do Before I Give Up on My Drug Addict Son

Drug addiction is a serious mental health disease, which means that most people, including your son, didn’t actually choose to get addicted in the first place. So, you can’t just give up right away.

Yes! There are things that you can still do, as a parent, to help your son overcome their drug issue. You really have to try all the possible ways for you, especially if your son is underage.

Discuss with Your Son

Many problems can be solved with a simple discussion, and your son’s drug addiction can be approached this way, too. If you have open communication and a healthy relationship with your son, it would be easier for you to discuss the dangers of intoxication. Be gentle and kind and not judgmental when talking to your son on these matters.

Talking To Son

You may also cite inspirational examples to him like the true story of the street cat named Bob. It’s really an inspirational one. Because of the cat’s presence and personal will to get better, James, a homeless man, was able to get his normal life back. It wasn’t easy, but little by little, he overcame the addiction and prospered in life.

Introduce Interventions

After getting your son on board, you may slowly introduce drug-addiction interventions. You may encourage all family members to get involved. There are activities that can get your son to open up and realize how much he is loved by the family.

Yes! You and your son, together with the other family members, can form a circle and then have everyone write about the positive things your son has done. You may also hire a professional counselor to preside.

Use mSpy to See Son’s Drug Transactions

In case your son happens to promise you that he’s no longer using drugs, but you’re still in doubt, you may try tracing and monitoring his drug transactions. And where’s the best place to look for proof? Of course, your son’s phone. And you can check his phone remotely using a spy tool called mSpy for Android and iOS.

mSpy Phone Monitoring

Monitor everything happens on the target iPhone/iPad/Android phone/tablet.

Read Social Media chats, calls, posts, likes, and comments

Track real-time phone location and set geo-fence

View SMS, iMs, call logs, contacts, & browser history

mSpy can get into all your son’s phone activities, including text messages. Yes! Your son can easily order drugs from a dealer with just a single text. Good thing, mSpy allows you to read your son’s SMS threads and see if he’s contacted someone who is a possible seller. Not to mention, you’d also see if your son has withdrawn or transferred a suspicious amount of money from the bank. Most banks these days send you confirmation texts of your transactions.

mSpy SMS

Besides checking SMS, there are other mSpy features that can help expand your monitoring.

Call Logs

See if he’s been calling someone who sells drugs. You will see the name, phone number, and date & time of the outgoing and incoming calls.

Social Media Chats

Of course, drug transactions don’t only happen via text messages. Some deal drugs on Facebook Messenger, Instagram, and other Social apps. mSpy can provide you with a complete chat history.

mSpy Track Keywords


You will know If your son happens to search for names of drugs and stores that sell them. All you need to do is set the possible keywords and mSpy will notify you via email if he triggered them.

GPS Location

You don’t have to follow your son around. mSpy can help you track his phone’s location on the map. It will be easier for you to identify if he’s lying about his whereabouts or if he’s near places where illegal drug sellers loiter about. You’d know the address, date & time, and coordinates as well.

mSpy Track Location

Those are only a few of what mSpy can do to make sure your son is telling the truth. There are other spy features as well that could be useful. If you want to try mSpy now, just click the button on the banner above to proceed.

Part 2: Is it Okay to Give Up on My Drug Addict Son

You’re a human, too. You have a limit to what you can offer to help your drug addict son. You have a whole life to live and your son is only a part of it. Unless your son is a minor, it’s okay to give up on him, especially if you’ve already done your part and all the possible interventions to help.

To give up on your drug addict son doesn’t mean you don’t care or love him anymore. You just acknowledge the fact that your being in his life no longer helps him improve or resolve his drug addiction.

Son Mother Argue

From another perspective, giving up and distancing yourself from your son may even help them realize how much drug addiction has taken away from him, And if your son is pretty dependent on you throughout their addiction, your distancing yourself may help them slowly fix the issue on his own.

Not to mention, you have the legal right to drop all support for your drug addict son if he’s already an adult. If he’s not listening to your advice and guidance, It’s perfectly okay to kick him out of the house for good, especially if he’s been doing bad things despite warnings.

mSpy Phone Monitoring

Monitor everything happens on the target iPhone/iPad/Android phone/tablet.

Read Social Media chats, calls, posts, likes, and comments

Track real-time phone location and set geo-fence

View SMS, iMs, call logs, contacts, & browser history

Part 3: When Do I Give Up on My Drug Addict Son

It may be okay to give up on a drug addict son, but there are certain situations where such a decision can be considered acceptable. Below are the three red flags or signs that you need to observe first before you even consider giving up.

Your Son Has Become A Threat to You and Your Family

Some addicts get involved in small crimes. Others even commit more serious offenses toward their parents, siblings, and other loved ones. So, if your son has become a threat to your life or to other family members, holding on to him is not going to be a safe choice for you.

Money Issues

He’s Made You Struggle Financially

If your son is not taking his therapies and rehab seriously, and he’s been going in and out of them, it could really cost you a fortune. Not to mention, if he’s buying drugs using your money (probably, stealing cash from you or making withdrawals from your bank). Such a situation could lead you broke.

You also have other things to spend your money on such as your medicine, food, mortgage, and other important things. You can’t let your son’s addiction bankrupt you, especially if you have other kids to attend to.

The Situation Is Affecting Your Health

As mentioned, you have a whole life to live as well. You cannot let your son’s drug situation totally consume you. So, if you already have health problems, it would be wise to take a step back and give up on him.

This is really important when his issue is making you physically ill because you couldn’t take care of yourself anymore or you’ve been feeling anxious and sleepless. It’s not worth it.

Sleepless Mother

You see, he doesn’t see that he’s become one of the major causes of your health issues getting worse and worse. Being a martyr is no longer practical because if you die saving him and he gets back to doing drugs all over again, it will be all in vain. Prioritize yourself if that’s the case.

Part 4: How Do I Let Go of My Drug Addict Son

When you’ve been on a loop with the red flags above and you want to finally give up on your drug addict son, here are some tips for you.

Tip 1: Distance Yourself

If your son’s situation has become too much to bear, you may try distancing yourself, both physically and emotionally. Take a break and avoid contact at all costs. You may physically distance yourself by going on a vacation with your spouse, friends, and other relatives. Or you may simply take yourself to a movie or whatnot. Do anything that makes you happy.

Taking A Vacation

And if the situation is really bad and you live together, you may try moving out for your peace of mind.

On the other hand, you may distance yourself emotionally by not caring about all the issues your son is shoving at you. You just stop reacting to it and become indifferent to the whole situation. Of course, you may come back when you’ve finally replenished your energy.

Tip 2: Stop Your Support

Your son is perhaps too dependent on you for whatever trouble he encounters. If he’s underage, that’s understandable, but if he’s already an adult, you just have to let him go. He’s now responsible for his own actions and he has to bear with the consequences, especially if you’ve already exerted too much of yourself for his recovery.

Tip 3: Ask for Mandatory Rehab from the Court

Well, if your son has been pretty stubborn and not responding to every intervention you introduce to him, ask for help from the court. But this only works if your son is of legal age and has been causing serious issues at home or with other people.

Court Order

Securing a court-ordered rehab can activate relevant authorities to take your son to a drug addiction rehab facility. That way, he can really get the treatment and environment that he needs in order to recover from addiction. Surely, there are professionals there that can provide the help your son needs.

Tip 4: Call the Cops for Help

In case your son has made your home a drug den or he’s been involved in some serious crimes like robbery or homicide, call the cops. Do not tolerate your son and hide him away. It’s better that he knows that he can’t just get away with anything because you are there to save him.

Moreover, if he ever threatens you or anyone in the family, it’s best that you get in touch with local authorities right away. Prioritize everyone’s safety. After all, you may still extend support by regularly visiting him in jail should you need to.

mSpy Phone Monitoring

Monitor everything happens on the target iPhone/iPad/Android phone/tablet.

Read Social Media chats, calls, posts, likes, and comments

Track real-time phone location and set geo-fence

View SMS, iMs, call logs, contacts, & browser history


Many parents have asked: when do I give up on my drug addict son? And that’s a valid question. As much as you want to be there for him, there are just deal-breaker situations that you can’t ignore. The most important thing is that you did your best to guide your son to the right path.

But of course, don’t just give up immediately because his drug ordeal has made you a bit uncomfortable. That’s part of the process. As long as things don’t become unbearable on your end, you shouldn’t consider giving up at all.


When you’re addicted to alcohol or drugs, the reward system part of your brain is flooded by a chemical messenger called Dopamine. It is responsible for hooking you to a pleasurable experience, which then results in you using drugs or drinking alcohol over and over again, without realizing it’s dangerous for you.

Drug addiction is a brain disorder that makes a person compulsively seek and use legal and illegal drugs despite knowing the negative effects. The brain just craves more intoxication and it can only be treated by being sober and undergoing rehab.

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