There could be a lot of reasons why someone would want to end their relationship. It could be because of miscommunication, losing feelings, betrayal, and more.
You might be thinking of calling it quits with your long-distance partner, and although some think it’s easy, it is actually the opposite. Ending your relationship with someone far from you is hard. You might be scared of hurting their feelings or worried about how they will react to the breakup.
Well, if you’re having a hard time breaking the bad news to your partner, we will help you out!
Part 1: Do You Really Want To Break Up Or Do You Just Need Some Space?
We sometimes make impulse decisions when we are mad, anxious, frustrated, and helpless. So, you need to figure out one thing: do you really want to end it or is it just your reckless decision?
If you abruptly break up with your partner without thinking things through, you might regret it. After the break up you might feel some remorse and realize that you’re still in love with them. So you better think things through.
If you’re mad at them right now, take some time and see if you can forgive them for that mistake. If your heart’s not ready, then don’t do it. Heal first, then decide, it’s that simple.
So before you think about a breakup, THINK FIRST. Don’t let your feelings decide, give yourself a break and then make your decision. If you can’t make a decision, the next part will help you out.
Part 2: When to Call it Quits in a Long-Distance Relationship
You might still be thinking twice about the breakup and before you say anything to your partner you want to make sure that you’re making the right decision. Well, here are some signs that say you should break up with your partner.
You have been Thinking of the Break Up for a While
If the thought of breaking up with your partner has been on your mind for quite some time, maybe it’s time that you should do it.
If you think of breaking up with your partner, you clearly have some doubts about the relationship. Staying in a relationship that is full of doubts will cause trouble between the both of you. But as I said, you can try to talk things out with your partner, and if those doubts don’t go away, then maybe it’s time to let go.
There’s a Struggle in Communicating with Each Other
As I mentioned above, communication is essential in a relationship, and if it doesn’t exist, the relationship will be in shambles.
Maybe your partner doesn’t contact you as much as before. Your hours of calls turn into minutes and the many text updates you received are getting low. Maybe you don’t receive “good mornings” and “I love you” texts anymore. If you also noticed that they don’t share their deep thoughts and they are not eager and excited to talk to you, that’s a bad sign.
Based on my observation and experience, his/her affection towards you is gone or slowly diminishing.
Also, if you can’t properly communicate with each other, how can you fix problems in the relationship? If you can’t talk about the issues, it’s definitely not a sign of a healthy relationship. If you can’t fix the communication issue, don’t waste your time in the relationship.
The Relationship has become a Burden/ Toxicity
Even if you are far from each other, you should find comfort with your partner. But if that comfort becomes a burden and the relationship is nothing but toxic, you should get out. Staying in a toxic relationship can affect how you see and treat your partner. Instead of respect and love, you will both hate each other.
Here are some signs that exist in a toxic relationship;
- Gaslighting
- Harassment
- Verbal and emotional abuse
- Disrespect
- Jealousy
- Neglecting feelings
- Dishonesty
- Constant fights and misunderstandings
If these things are happening in your relationship, the best thing to do is let go. These are the factors that kill long-distance relationships. The longer you hold on to this toxic relationship, the more you’ll hurt each other.
You’ve been Betrayed/Lied to by Your Partner
One of the most common reasons for breakups is betrayal, especially on LDR. If you’ve caught your partner lying to you multiple times, you should run. A person who truly loves you, will not lie or betray you.
But if you want to build back the trust even after lying, it’s your choice. And to make sure that they won’t lie to you again, you can use a tool to monitor all their phone activities. One of the most trending monitoring apps today is mSpy. This will help you see if your long-distance partner is still doing malicious things behind your back.
mSpy Phone Monitoring
Monitor everything happens on the target iPhone/iPad/Android phone/tablet.
Read Social Media chats, calls, posts, likes, and comments
Track real-time phone location and set geo-fence
View SMS, iMs, call logs, contacts, & browser history
mSpy has tons of features that can keep track of your partner’s activities like seeing their texts and chats, knowing their real-time location, seeing installed apps, accessing saved videos and photos, and more. mSpy will help you confirm your allegations.
And if you confirm that your partner is cheating, just remember that you do not deserve this kind of treatment. And if you think that he will not change, let him go. You deserve better.
You’ve Fallen for Someone Else
In a long-distance relationship, it’s not impossible to get attracted to other people. You’re alone and lonely, that’s why falling for someone else is kind of expected. If you’ve been keeping this secret from your partner, this is wrong, you better come clean. Be honest about what you feel. Don’t let someone else tell them about your affair, you should be the one to do it.
And if you plan to stay in the relationship just because you pity them and you don’t want to hurt your partner, I think it’s too late for that. You already hurt them when you fell in love with someone else. Don’t act like you still love them, if you still have an ounce of respect for your partner, you will tell them the real situation. They deserve to know the truth.
Part 3: How to End a Long-Distance Relationship
There’s no formula on how to properly break up with someone. But if you want to avoid drama you should do it respectfully. Here are some tips that may help.
Do it as Early as Possible
Delaying the breakup will only make the situation worse. If you already made up your mind, it’s better to let them know right away. If possible, you can set up a schedule, and tell your partner that you have something to say to them on this day at this time.
Break Through Voice or Video Call
You may be too scared to tell your partner about your decision and if you’re considering sending them a message about the break, don’t do it. They should hear you say it, or else there will be a lot of confusion. Plus, I personally think it’s disrespectful to break up with someone through text.
You should gather some courage to tell your partner. And if possible, find a way to break up with them in person. That way, the two of you can talk and clarify things.
Be Honest about Your Reasons
Whatever your reason is, you have to tell your partner. Even if they get mad, they deserve the truth. Letting them know what went wrong with your relationship can help them understand the situation. Plus, they will not move on easily as they will keep thinking if it’s their fault or not.
Try to let them understand how things went down. If you’ve done something that caused the relationship to fall down, lower your pride and ask for forgiveness.
You also need to prepare for an answer if your partner tries to negotiate and ask if things can still be fixed. Make them understand that breaking up is the best option for both of you.
Listen and let them React
Of course, your partner will react to the breakup and what you have to do is let them have their moment. Let them cry, be angry, and answer all their questions. You have to expect these reactions, and you have to be ready. What you need to do is be there to comfort them if needed.
They might resent you and things between you two will be awkward in the future. But at least you tried your best to be sensitive and give them respect during the breakup.
Part 4: Things to Do After the Breakup
The best way to end the relationship is with closure. You have to make things clear and say that the relationship is finally over. Thank each other for the moments you shared, and say sorry for all the lapses made. After that, you two can go your separate ways.
Being on your own could be hard, especially if you got used to having a lover, but don’t worry you’ll get used to it soon. Also, there are things you can do to move on from the break up easier.
Don’t Post Anything on Social Media
Social Media is a toxic place and the last thing you want to do is let the whole world know about the breakup. People will try to speculate and ask questions about what happened between the two of you and, to be honest, that will be very draining. Having to answer questions plus dealing with heartbreak is not fun.
So, after the breakup, it’s best that you keep it private, if you have to tell people about it, tell it to them in person or through private messages.
Return their Belongings
If ever your LDR ex has sent you a gift or left something at your place, I suggest that you return it. It will be easier to move on if you do not see things that remind you of your ex.
And before you send out their belongings, make sure to let them know and if possible give a little explanation. Make it sincere and kind.
Make Time for Yourself
After dealing with all the things related to your ex, it’s time to take care of yourself now. The whole break-up process will be exhausting, so be sure to make some time for self-care. You can either shop for some new clothes, go on a vacation, relax at the spa, or makeover in a salon. Do what makes you happy.
Spend Time with People You Love
Bonding with family and friends can help get your mind off the breakup. Go out with them, and make some memories. People who truly care and love can even give you some advice and help you move on.
Remember, you are not alone, there are people who genuinely care for you, don’t forget that.
Don’t Find a Rebound Relationship
You’re maybe considering dating someone again just to move on with your ex, well that’s a big NO. You can’t force your heart to love again when it’s still healing. Plus, you’ll only end up hurting your rebound partner.
Author’s Note
People come and go, that’s how life is. Remember, all things happen for a reason. An ending doesn’t end things, it’s just a mark of a new beginning. So do not lose hope, I’m pretty sure that there’s someone out there for you that you can share happiness ever after with.